Last year, for the first time, I went in depth teaching iambic pentameter to students and told them to attempt writing a sonnet in iambic pentameter for homework. The purpose is so they can be blown away by Shakespeare's mad skills -- a ridiculous portion of his 37 plays and 150+ sonnets are written in that meter. And it works. They recognize the man's genius by the time they've banged their heads against their desks trying to get the syllable count, stress, and rhyme scheme just so.
Before I assigned it, however, I knew I had to tackle it myself. The syllable stress still isn't perfect, but I love this freaking sonnet, so I'm sharing it.
It's called "A Sonnet for my Pockets".
Hem hem.
For ladies
pockets are a total sham
In them
there is no room to fit my things
Unfair
it is that sirs have more than ma’ams
Upon
this day sadness my pocket brings
Mine husband
says I rant too much for these
My lady
pockets though won’t hold gum sticks
They are
not even large enough for keys
We must
lug large purses to carry tricks
Used daily
like phones, wallets, coins and mints
Lame lady
pockets cause blinding fury
These grievances drive me to yelling hence
Clothing
designers please listen, hurry!
Correct
thine foul error or else I’ll crack
I prithee take these lady pockets back!
I prithee take these lady pockets back!
Come on, patriarchy. Just let me have some freaking pockets.
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